I wish I had a picture of this one… There’s a poster on the NYC subway “Litter gets on the tracks and catches FIRE!” and the poster rambles on “and slows down your trip and makes you and others late and it’s really bad and we won’t like you and do you actually shake your mother’s hand with that littering hand of yours?”

For shame. I’m no litter fanatic. I’m a different kind of fanatic. I bring my recycling home from work because they don’t handle it properly at the building. (Reference my lunacy here.) Back to the point — what a whiny effing sign. I’ve seen people littering and so have you. Does the person who you noticed littering strike you as the kind that cares about making other people late for their appointments? I’m not even sure they know how to read. Perhaps the packaging of their delicious candy bar infuriates them with its letters and phrases to the point where it must be immediately jettisoned. Lest they do something rash. Or untoward. To a nearby person.

How would you like it if I came into your house and hung a sign that whined at you not to litter? I reckon you would not very much although you might be able to sell it for a few dollars if I made the sign with gold foil. I am unfortunately better known for my Sharpie based signwork.

The simple fact is, fire is totally awesome. If litter is the bringer of fire, man’s finest gift from the gods — litter must likewise be imbued with liberal quantities of Sweet, or at least a dash of Rad. Personally I don’t think it’s an effective sign. Perhaps you guessed. Hey MTA, I’m not going to litter anyway, but thanks for the funny sign. If you want an effective sign, how about “Litter gets on the tracks and then a swarm of ravenous locusts come and eat your legs unless you don’t have legs in which case think of something that you’d prefer not to lose and the locusts are gonna go after that.” And by the way MTA, if you’re listening, when you make a claim like that you have to enforce it.

EDIT: I had to go snooping for a photo. I’ll try to get one myself (not very hard mind you) but for now here’s a good one. I’ll host it here too in case there’s a mix up on the tubes.

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