Those who say that it will be done “faster than you can say Jack Robinson” should not spend the time it takes to use said phrase, and rather simply assert that “it is done”. The necessary time interval is built directly into the phrase.

Other phrases “It will be done…”

“… faster than you can glance over your shoulder.”
“… faster than a pig in heat.”
“… faster than a wet noodle on a jelly slide.”
“… faster than you can say Mrs. Pennyfarthing, mistress of the Parlour, who makes the finest scones in the district when she does but as she’s been a trifle ill recently she hasn’t been baking as often which is quite a shame.” … if you need additional time.

It’s important to take stock of your idiom before you use it. You might look at a large person. They might be shady — not to be trusted. You might then say “I trust that person about as far as I could throw him.”

You’d be right. Were you to try to throw him, you would likely find it harder than it would be to throw a hard boiled egg.

Of a particularly dastardly hard boiled egg, you would not say “I trust that hard boiled egg about as far as I could throw it.”, because you might be able to launch it a considerable distance.

Another consideration is the actual distance that confers trust between thrower and throwee. If you only ever trust items that you can comfortably throw into the sun from where you stand, you may end up a distrustful person.

I’ve become an overnight success. No, actually, it’s just spam. Comments like this:

“Sounds great! Your blog is one of my most favorite now ;). You have hit the nail on the head, just like you always do.”

and this:

“Oh… Your blog used to be nice, but now it’s spoiled. Stop posting trash like that or stop posting at all.”

have started popping up all over the place. If you run a blog, you’re probably aware of this “comment masquerading” spam already. It actually fooled me the first time. I’m going to delete them for now, and eventually I’ll block them from even getting through, or require user accounts to post (something I don’t want to do). Like I don’t have better things to do with my time than deal with this.

If you don’t run a blog, lock up your emails and bar your doors because you’re next.

The problem with spam is not the spammers. They’re fucks but there is an ever greater menace: the spam customer. Somewhere there’s a complete tard who is actually giving these people a viable business model. Stop being so dumb — I beseech you.

I realized that this record existed a few days ago. I’m enamored of it. First off, it’s a good jargon dictionary. As you might remember, I like those.

Believe it or not, it also has some good wisdom to it. The hip commandment: “Thou shalt not bug thy neighbor, which means be cool.”

It’s sampled on a DJ Food track, The Riff. I heard the track a number of years ago but hadn’t made the connection. Nice.

“It’s very important to work on your brains.” More wisdom.

Coders develop a style much like writers do. I’ll compare coding to writing prose again in the future. I don’t draw much distinction between the two.

Code has agreed upon conventions. I’ve read the phrase “don’t cuddle an else”, probably in a Perl style manual — Perl coders are style mavens.

But what does it mean? It means that:

if(it's_true) {
    say "yay, true!";
} else {
    say "yay, false!";
}

is stylistically worse than:

if(it's_true) {
    say "yay, true!";
}
else {
    say "yay, false!";
}

The difference is subtle but the rule makes sense. And it’s a structural sense that it makes. Code is easier to change when your else statements ride on their own line. That’s just a simple, logistical fact, and the assumption should consistently be that code is going to change.

Prose doesn’t have as strong an adherence to logistical efficiency. Sure, there are roundabout ways to say something, but that’s poetry and doesn’t lose style points unless it sucks. There’s bad code, too.

A quicky for today — check this note out that I got from the ACLU:

Dear Mark Angelillo,

In a few days, you will receive notice that your ACLU membership expires in May. I hope you’ll respond right away because the ACLU needs your renewed support TODAY.

I didn’t know the ACLU was in the business of predicting the future. In a few days, I’ll write a blog post about the ACLU writing to me.

My mouth ran in front of me a bit last night. The upshot?

On Septa…
Me: And if you like the smell of urine — and you look like a person who likes the smell of urine — you might even try the Septa subway!
I apologized for that one, but still felt bad.

On hip jive…
Me: What’s down in Florida?
Her: A sister, an aunt…
Me: Okay, so family mostly.
Her2: And sun. And beaches.
Me: That’s slang for bitches, right?
Her2: No.

It is safe to assume that anything there is to be known about me… that is, most of that which has been manifested outside of my head… is already known by someone. Sometimes that someone is a person I know or a friend of mine. Sometimes it’s an internet company watching my browsing. Sometimes it is a retail store looking to optimize their service of my needs and in the process their profits.

I do not condemn any entity for knowing such things, after all it’s either natural or it’s common sense. What is interesting to me is that, while all of that data exists, it does not share the same owner. I suppose the aggregate of that data would not quite be a god, but it would be close enough to dramatically affect my life.

That being said, my suspicion is that the aggregate of the complimentary set of data — that which is not manifest — is a far larger set. With a greater proportion of absolute truck.